Many people are asking themselves this. These include the medical profession as well as families and friends. Unfortunately the answer to that is not really known.

There are studies going on all the time to try and find an answer. Most probably, if one is found, it will be composed of a series of different reasons.

What has been found is certain common factors that predispose people to suffer from anorexia or bulimia. These factors will not always be present and not necessarily in full.

At the same time, the reverse is true. There are many people who do have these factors in their lives, but do not suffer from an eating disorder.

The following are five groups of factors that have been identified in people with either anorexia or bulimia:

• A traumatic event in the life of the individual.
• A series of events that have caused continuous pain or emotional stress, over a long period of time.
• Abuse, which can be physical, sexual, emotional or verbal.
• Sensitivity to dysfunctional family dynamics.
• Personality features, such as perfectionism, obsessiveness, impulsiveness, low self-esteem, hypersensitivity.

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The term eating disorders describes relationships with food, but the disorder is deeper than just food and a person’s attitude towards it.

There are certain characteristics that go beyond food and eating and are common to anorexia, bulimia and even binge eating.

Some of these are:

• Low self-esteem, lack of acceptance of oneself
• Hypersensitive to criticism and other standards imposed by culture and society
• Fear of intimacy due to fear of possible rejection
• Perfectionism and complacency from an early age, until the crisis appears
• Unrealistic expectations on oneself and of others
• Extremism, there is no intermediate position
• Addicted to control; aims to control everything around. This is also reflected by observing the family, and many times manipulating others

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By loving them and showing that love.

Perhaps the most important thing you can do to help a person with anorexia is to love them and demonstrate that love.

This doesn’t mean catering to their every whim but to act in a loving manner, and making sure the rest of the family also feels loved and everyone is a special member of the family environment.

It is important to know that a person suffering from anorexia feels comfortable and safe with her illness. Her greatest fear is gaining weight, something akin to a loss of control. Someone with anorexia will often deny they have a problem and will try to redirect the topic to someone else.

People suffering from anorexia will try to do anything to continue avoiding food. My experience is that the clashes and arguments should stay with the professionals and the family focus on rebuilding the relationship.

It sounds difficult and at times it is, but one thing that can help is to reach agreements with all the family members – remember anorexia is not about food.

I’ll say it again, learn about the illness and let yourself be guided by professionals.

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